The Death I Deserve
by KiraMika
Summary: Although that's hardly the worst, that is reserved for when I think I catch a glimpse of you clad in your golden armor or hear your boisterous laugh. It is by your hand alone which I should have died though I suppose I killed you before you ever got that chance, my husband,my love, and my enemy, Gilgamesh


I suppose this is a fitting place for someone like me to spend an eternity. The desert sands seemed unending and although the sands gently whipped at my skin and the sun never wavered from its highest point I felt nothing. How long had it been since I died? Since I felt things like warmth or hunger or thirst, I can't remember, though I suppose it's been a good while. To most this may seem like hell, that I must have done something in life to warrant this kind of damnation, and I have, but this is far from what I deserve. Sometimes when deep in thought the desert will play tricks on me, I'll sometimes see the blood I've spilled seep into the sands until it's gone or I'll hear the screams of those gone long before me. Although that's hardly the worst, that is reserved for when I think I catch a glimpse of you clad in your golden armor or hear your boisterous laugh. It is by your hand alone which I should have died though I suppose I killed you before you ever got that chance, my husband my love and my enemy, Gilgamesh.

**Uruk, Mesopotamia 2800 BC**

Famine, draught, violence these were the things I saw whenever leaving my home in the upper city. I was fortunate enough to not suffer such terrible things but just barely. My family hadn't been in high standing since the time of the current king's grandfather, and with not holding any sort of court positions it was a wonder how we were able to stay around. Especially after our child kings change of heart. I remember seeing him once as a child during the wedding festival of his first marriage he was only thirteen, but he stood asa vision blond hair spiked like the mane of a lion and eyes that shined like rubies, I immortalized him then and I hate him more than anyone now. Two years passed from that time and his queen died during child birth, and although she'd given him a son before passing all the riches in the world couldn't seem to fill the hole she left behind. The once kind hearted boy that appeared as a god to his people quickly turned into a devil. Taxing the people into starvation and slaughtering all those who stood in his way or disobeyed his order all to satiate his endless need for entertainment. Though things seem to have finally caught up with him with rumors of the crown prince being to sickly to take up the throne spreading around the kingdom the court has called for an expanding of the royal harem in order for the king to find a new bride to bear him stronger sons, much to his displeasure and also mine.

"Mikari, dear it's time, are you ready?"

I turned away from small mirror to gaze at my mother. I stood knowing she'd want to throughly inspect my work before sending me to the selection. Just to be sure I wasn't trying to fail on purpose, but true to my word I'd done my best with the merger luxuries we owned to look presentable. My long blond hair was brushed and fell gracefully to my lower back with two braids forming a crown and pinned with a flower at the center. My dress and shoes were plain blue cloth with simple embellishments along the edges but made my exotic blue eyes look more intense. She circled me several times before sighing but nodding in agreement.

" You're disappointed?"

I asked already knowing the answer.

" Of course not sweetheart you look beautiful I just wish we could give you more."

I nodded and watched as she left the room to ready the litter and carriers for the trip to the palace. Both mother and father expected me to do well in order to raise our families standing amongst the court and to keep us from slipping into the same fate as those who lived below. Unlike me, who showed open animosity toward the king, they feared him and instilled that fear into my younger brother Esli who didnt know better. If not for my grandmother I'd surely have gone insane or blown up at the wrong time from lack of ranting, but she shares in my ideals and raised me to be strong both physically and mentally. Taking one last look at myself I exited my room to see my family all waiting outside ready to send me into the lions jaws though at least they didnt look happy about it. I hugged each of them goodbye and tried to comfort my brother who was trying not to cry when my grandmother held out a shallow rectangular wooden box. Inside was a necklace of jade incased in silver with matching tear drop earrings.

"Mimi I can't..."

"You can and you will. Your grandfather gave me these on our wedding day to bring us luck and prosperity. It's my hope they'll prove just as lucky for you."

I nodded as she put each item on me and hugged her tightly trying to choke back the tears threatening to escape before heading outside to where our men waited beside my litter. With help I was placed inside the small wood and cloth box and lifted off the ground to be taken to the palace gates. I had to remind myself to breath during the trip and prayed to the gods that I wasnt selected. I didnt dare to look out of the window in fear that I'd recognize how close we were and begin to panic. Though when my litter was set down against what I could only assume was stone my body ran cold and I was unable to move but with help from the palace servants I was coaxed out. It took a bit for my eyes to readjust to the light but as they did the wonder of the place facade came into view as well as the line of other girls and their servants on either side of me. Each looking much more glamorous then I despite their apparent choice that less was more when it came to the fabric on their bodies; many even using just well placed jewelry to keep at least some part of them to the imagination. Place servants ran up and down the line of women writing down their name and sorting them into groups to be brought before the king while instructing their servants to remain to wait in case a girl wasnt selected so they could promptly take her home. Some girls who were confident they were going to be chosen ordered their servants to go home or be punished, but the palace attendants told them of a place to wait out of losight of their mistress none of them looking to hopefully that the king would choose anyone. One particularly annoyed looking one came up to me barely sparing me a glance before sighing.

"Full name, age, and region."

"Mikari Araba, 17, Uruk."

The man stopped to actually have a full look at me and raised an eyebrow in disbelief, but didn't question my answer insteadushering me into a group of girls who seemed of the same age and from the same region as me. His disbelief wasnt surprising girls from favored families that lived in the capital tended to live lavish lives and never wanted for anything. Though my family fell out of direct favor decades ago and lived simply off the riches of better times. I ignored the snide remarks and chuckles of those I should have seen as competition instead sitting by a fountain to wait for my group to be called and for the eventual dismissal so I could go home and continue my normal life. During the wait I witnessed many girls come out of the throne room in tears while others left angry shouting curses at anyone in line of sight. One maybe twoof the forty or so girls that had gone through had been selected and the confidence others had shown before was quickly starting to fade. Another twenty went through and more of the same no one selected more upset. The next ten and no one seemed to have the heart to cry or be angry any more since they'd been expecting it now. My group was the last and only a few seemed to hold out any hope of being selected. Their were fifteen of us in total and a voice I could only assume as the kings steward announced us as the beauties of the capital as if he'd been saving the best for last. I'm sure he must have been disappointed once he laid eyes on me but I kept my line of sight down to the ground not wanting to see the king or draw anymore attention to myself. I knelt down in a line facing the stairs leading up to the throne and waited to be called upon.

"When your name is called please stand and come greet his majesty if you are blessed you will be taken to your new quarters and your servants outsideasked to leave. If not you will promptly leave the palace and return to your homes here in the capital. Now let's begin."

He sounded tired and uninterested as if already knowing the outcome but continued to read the list of girls and await the kings word regardless. It wasnt till the fourth girl that the king even spoke but his voice was deep and demanding capturing the attention of the whole room.

" Are you truly so pompous that jewels are all that you allow on your body or are you just to stupid to dress yourself correctly?"

At this I spared a glance upward and instantly recognized the girl I'd seen order her servants to go home or be punished. She indeed showed every inch of skin that was allowed and those that weren't appropriate were covered in various jewels all incased in gold. Although his words were harsh he spoke the truth but she didnt stammer or lose confidence.

" I was told you craved only the best your majesty, but if you're displeased by my attire I have no problems in taking it off."

Her voice was smooth and suggestive with not a hint of fear. The king laughed at her response for a good while before speaking again.

"Very we'llsee if you live up to what you claim."

"I promise to not disappoint you your majesty."

"For your sake I hope you can keep that promise."

His last wordswerebarely a whisper but just as threatening. Three more girls were sent away much like the ones before until my name was called.

" Mikari Ayaba age 17."

I stood thanking the gods that my knees didnt buckle or shake on my way up the platform I stopped when the base of the throne came into view and knelt downbefore the man I hated.

" Thank you for your consideration your majesty and may the gods grant long life and prosperity to you and the prince."

I kept my voice even and my greeting short but proper and refused to move until spoken too. Minutes passed which felt like hours before the king rose from his position to stand before me.

"Rise."

I did as told but kept my eyes down now seeing his bare chest rather than his feet. I felt his finger and thumb grab my chin and force my head up where I could now see his bejeweled neck and the lower part of his face as well as the faces of the shocked servants behind him.

" Look at me."

He said sternly while tapping my chin impatiently with his thumb. I cursed him in my head before lifting my eyes to see his ruby orbs looking at me with sadistic interest.

" Eyes as blue as diamonds tell me how such a modest girl came by such a treasure."

" Both of my grandparents had blue eyes they seem to skip a generation."

I sounded more mater of factly then I ment to which caused something sinister to change in his eyes but I held my gaze none the less, and tried not to squirm away from his hand that was still touching my face. A few more moments passed before he dropped his hand and chuckled to himself before turning to his steward.

" The selection is over I have no need to see any others send whoever is left home."

" But your majesty... they're at least another two groups left and you've only selected two..."

" Did I order you to question me!"

The steward feel silent and look in fear of his life at the kings raise in tone. He fell to his knees bowing repeatedly at his feet.

" Of course not your majesty I'll pass your order immediately. The rest of you please head back outside."

I sighed and turned to walk off the platform before the king turned his attention back to me and grabbed my wrist to stop my retreat.

"And were exactly do you think you're going?"

I turned to him confused and slightly stammered over my words.

" I'm sorry your majesty I thought I was just ordered to leave along with the others."

He chuckled again to himself and pulled me so my body was pressed up against his own.

" No my little diamond you're to remain here to serve me I'd never let a treasure leave my possession once I've laid eyes on it."

He then brought his lips down to my ear to whisper words that sent a chill up my spine.

" I know you detest me I can see it in your eyes. I also see a strong will with even stronger opinions. We'll see if you can hold onto those once I'm done with you."

**_This is the first story Ive attempted posting on this site and also the first time ive published anything in a long while. I normally publish on quotev, where my love of fanfiction was born, but move to here for the wider selection. I hope this is well received and will update as soon as I can._**


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